Wow. I guess I didn't realize how cathartic this packing business could be. Not only am I purging alot of the unecessary, material things that have cluttered my life (& my basement!) for so many years, but I have come across so many sweet momentos from friends & family that have triggered memories I thought I'd lost. You know, the tear-jerker kind of stuff. I was emptying my desk and found a folder with cards and crayola drawings that had Teagan's name scribbled at the bottom from 2006! The cards are real treasures though. I saved many from when I first got the job at QVC, over 11 years ago. My Mom wrote: "Patti, Dad & I are so proud of you! We have no idea what this QVC journey has in store for you, but we're excited and anxious to see you on t.v.!!! You did it! Love, Mom & Dad." I found pictures from my first house in R.I. It was an adorable 2 bedroom, butter yellow ranch that sat on just under a half acre, 4 miles from the beach. Omgosh, I loved that house!!! My cousin Dyanna and I literally referred to it as my "little stick of butter", lol. It was only about 900 square feet, if that, but I liked that it was cute & cozy and all mine! I had actually bought the house at an auction- I was scared to death!!! Standing outside of the house along with seasoned "house-flippers", clutching three thousand dollars in an envelope and trying to figure out how high I could bid without having to take a fourth job! At the time I was cleaning houses, working at my grandparent's saw mill and working full-time at Foxwoods Casino. I remember my Aunt hugging me and saying "Congratulations, Patti. You're a home owner!!!" And eventhough I was happy, I was stunned and definitely a little scared. The house was a mess- it had been neglected for years. It actually took a 30 yard and a 15 yard dumpster just to clean it out- can you imagine? My brother and I gutted the bathroom, I tore down paneling and refinished the hardwood floor that was hidden underneath dirty, stained carpet. (I'll post a picture on facebook so you can see.) The pictures I came across were from my Dad's 50th birthday party on the fourth of July. I had a backyard barbeque and we had friends & relatives celebrate with us. I'm so glad I have those pictures- they rejuvenate the memories and make me smile:) I also came across a huge plastic bin with my journals in it. I flipped through a few and saw my flowy, whimsical handwriting with little hearts & smiley faces filling in the columns and I had to laugh. Such visions of grandeur!!! I was then, and still am today, very much a believer in the Law of Attraction. I had jotted down alot of thoughts, affirmations, quotes and hopes for the future like: "I want to be married with two children, in a beautiful house..." (you know the deal!) and I noticed that I had written similar statements year after year, after year, after year... And yet here I am. Because although I had dreams of domestic bliss, I also had a deep desire to be successful and independent. And like the Law of Attraction says: if you focus on lack, you'll be in a place of lack. If you focus on abundance, you will draw it to you. I found it easier to envision success than I did the family/relationship stuff. Posting affirmations on the mirror or in a notebook to remind myself that life is what I make it just seemed like the best way of thinking. Even today I have to remind myself to shift my thoughts- especially now when I'm making all of these changes. Each day I pack another box, or make another list, I have to battle fleeting thoughts of doubt. But when I come across thoughtful notes and beautiful pictures and remember that this one life is just stretching itself out in front of me, I know that I'm doing the right thing. There are no smooth mountains. The transition from this life to my new life waiting for me across the country won't be all rainbows & sunshine, but it will be something that forever changes me. A friend told me once: "Where we have been is who we are now." Isn't that the truth!!!