I haven't written in so long it feels unfamiliar to me.  I typically journal even if I'm not blogging or updating facebook, but for the past several weeks I've felt really detached from what I sometimes consider an "impersonal" way of communicating.  Ask my friends.  I'm terrible with texts.  Too often the messages are misconstrued and the "tone" is misinterpreted.  I don't know, I guess I'm old school like that and would rather have a conversation, hear the warmth in the other person's voice, feel the honesty in their words.  So the writing for me just didn't flow for a while.  Today I thought I'd give it a shot.  Having just come back from a trip to Philly for the Diamonds & Denim Event, which was a huge success, and then to Orlando to visit my entire family (my sister, niece, brother, Mom & Dad, and of course, little mister Finnegan) I'm feeling rejuvenated and calm.  It feels nice.
I've been spending alot of time reading lately.  Words inspire me and I find it fascinating to read from another persons perspective.  Most inspirational books aim at delivering the same message- be who you are, honor yourself, honor your passions, and love with your whole heart in the present moment- but certain writers resonate differently depending on the individual.  It's the way we are willing to receive the message.  And lately for me, I've noticed that I'm drawn to books that validate everyone at every stage in their lives- books that acknowledge the highs & lows, the shared feelings of worthlessness and inauthenticity, the ebbs & flows of life that we all go through but rarely talk about.  I came off of a rollercoaster in mid turn when I left QVC and now I actually have the gift of time to explore and create something new, yet for a while I wasn't able to appreciate that.  I thought that if I wasn't working, I wasn't "doing" anything.  My Mom was so comforting to me during a phone call a few weeks ago.  She said, "Why don't you just relax and enjoy life? Take a moment and breath. No one is keeping score but you." Hmm.  Now that was something to think about.  We all have our "to-do lists" don't we?  But where on that list do we find things like: take a nap, read a good book, treat yourself to a long walk, or spend 10 minutes doing absolutely nothing at all.   
I highly recommend "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brene Brown (I read it in just a few days after I finished reading "The Help", another great book- can't wait to see the movie!!!).  One of the messages in the book that rang loud & clear for me was that "what we bring to the world is completely individual and cannot be compared."  Or as simply as Laura Williams put it, "Comparison is the thief of happiness."  Brene also reminds us to "Let go of who you think you're supposed to be and embrace who you are."  I'm not interested in keeping score just to be relevant.  I want to live and love and travel and experience as much as I can.  The work will come.  I can wait.
I took Finn with me to Orlando last week to see my family.  Once again he got to fly on an airplane with Auntie Patti which is the most exciting thing in the world- next to meeting Spiderman.  I'll explain that later.  My heart melts when I see this child- blond hair, hazel eyes, and that precious smile.  He lights up a room with his excitement and wonder.  We literally re-wrapped his birthday presents just to watch him open them again.  I'm not kidding!  He loved the experience of tearing off the paper, squeals of delight at the new toy while shouting "thank you Gappa, thank you! I'm threeeeee!!!!" (he calls my Dad "Gappa").  His excitement, his full-throttled enthusiasm and joy at opening gifts and having his family around him left us all teary-eyed with happiness. By re-wrapping the presents we gave Finn and ourselves that "gift" again.  We relived the moment and it was such fun!  We took him & my niece to Universal Studios on Monday so they could have fun and we all secretly hoped that Finn would get to meet Spiderman, his favorite Superhero.  The day was long.  Hot & humid don't even begin to describe how it felt being in the overcrowded park, but the kids were having a ball and that's what it was about.  We walked everywhere, drank tons of raspberry slushies, waited in line and hopped on a few rides.  We were there for several hours and poor little Finn was so tired he could barely keep his eyes open as we were strolling him out of the park.  Just near the exit to the parking garage in front of a novelty shop we saw a woman holding a sign high above her head.  It had an arrow pointing to the store and read: "Meet Spiderman!".  Omg, are you kidding me???  I poked my Mom, gestured to the sign and veered the stroller right inside the store- we all had permanent grins on our faces knowing what was about to happen.  Finn's sleepy eyes got so huge when he caught a glimpse of the man in red, he leapt out of the stroller and ran over to him cutting at least a half dozen people waiting in line.  (The beauty of being a child!)  It was such a great thing to watch.  The look of awe on his face, his tiny hands reaching out to touch Spiderman, to solidify this moment: that his Superhero was real.  Remember moments like that?  With your kids or when you were a child?  You lived to play and laugh and have fun.  You were mesmerized by birthday candles, ballons and airplanes.  Splashing around in the pool kept you occupied and happy for hours.  A box of crayons was a treasure beyond comprehension and blowing bubbles had you giggling, dancing and popping them with your finger all at once.  Life is just as beautiful today wherever it is you find yourself.  Superheroes still exist and bubbles still cost around a dollar at a local store.  Crayons are just as bold & bright and birthday candles, well, we may have more of them on our cakes these days, but aren't they still just as mesmerizing & beautiful?

"Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so they will be happier. The way it actually works is reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you really need to do, in order to have what you want."
-Margaret You

 


Karen
08/19/2011 8:48pm

Oh my, that was just beautiful. How inspiring to all..
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, family and emotions with us.

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Kim
08/19/2011 9:20pm

Patti, your mom is right, no one but you is keeping score. (No one who matters anyhow.) Take time to enjoy the little things in life while you can. You are blessed with a great family and the ability to take some time off. Hope you are enjoying this new leg of your journey in life. Best wishes.

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Martha Ellen
08/19/2011 9:46pm

Patti, it is wonderful to hear what is happening in your world. You are one of the few who "gets" what life is all about. Through the eyes of a child, we learn so many valuble lessons. How wonderful for you and for Finn!

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Terry
08/19/2011 11:26pm

Patti
I so thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog. I was really touched by hearing the words your mother said to you "Why don't you just relax and enjoy life?" - that touched home. I was laid off for over a year and put so much pressure on myself to find a job, day in and day out, I was submitting resumes, not hearing anything and what was it doing to me!!I couldn't concentrate on anything but "jobs". My husband would come home and I'd be in tears not knowing why I wasn't getting any responses. My husband said the same exact words to me, Stop,enjoy life, read, swim, call old friends, clean a closet, do nothing, honey we're okay he would say. (Likely we were fortunate that I could be out awhile). He said just relax, a job will come, if you just step away and let things happen. And they did.
I wish everyone could take the time and just enjoy. We tend to put so much pressure on ourselves and don't let life come to us. We are just all so controlling. And like Finn the simple things make you and others feel so good.
I'm glad your enjoying "life" as we know it because we all know that life is too short.

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Candice
08/20/2011 12:12am

Patti,
Your mom is right. Enjoy your time off and relax because the minute you are working full time again you will be begging to have this time that you have where you can do nothing.
I miss seeing you on the Q. Not the same without you and those new hosts are annoying.

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Joyce
08/20/2011 3:35pm

Patti,

Too often, people validate themselves by the job they hold, the celebrities they know through their jobs, the money they earn, the cars they drive, the designer clothes they wear and the exotic trips they take. They fear losing it all. They fight the aging process, don loads of makeup and lose their natural beauty.

When they stp working for whatever reason, their self wort stops too. The celebs move on, the money and its accoutraments stop and if that's all they had, their lives stop too.

True life is about family and friends who love you for who and what you have, not the job you hold or the famous people you know. Take your time girl and smell the roses. When the time is right, go back to work doing something you love. In the meantime, instead of reading self help books, try your hand at writing one. You are a gifted writer if you don't already know it. Looking forward to your next blog.

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D.
08/21/2011 9:11am

Hi Patti,

Suggesting the book "The Power of Receiving" by Amanda Owen. It's a winner!

Wishing you all the best -- and the best is yet to come...

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janice adler
08/21/2011 8:30pm

one of THE BEST blogs I've ever read. You are an amazing human being, Patti Reilly. I've love to have you as a friend....you'd be so darn uplifting!
Best wishes ever on future endeavors.

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Daria
08/22/2011 4:08pm

Thank you, Patti! It is so good to hear from you again. I love your honesty and I hope you know how your words are of help to others! Sounds like you are getting to that point of "just enjoying life", like your wise Mom said, and that is wonderful. I like what the other reader posted about writing a book. You really do have a very moving way with words. I am sure when the time is right, you will try your hand at your very own book! When I visit with my family it gives me even extra nourishment and contentment, and it carries over. I love our visits and I can imagine how much you loved yours with your family and Finn!Thanks again for sharing your innermost feelings!

Hugs,
Daria

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Kandi Rane
08/22/2011 5:31pm

I'm glad you're back! I've missed your blogs :)! They are always insightful and encouraging - a ray of sunshine - they truly brighten my day!

Keep up the great work and I'll definitely keep reading and being inspired! Be well and happy!! Kandi Rane

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Jennifer
08/23/2011 11:39am

Patti, I wish you would do a blog on how you like living in LA...I am hoping to move there from the dreary east coast soon and would love to hear your input.

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Shirley
08/23/2011 1:41pm

Patty, your mom is so right, a job does not make a person, it is what is inside. I agree, take some time for you, re-group and decide what you want to do. You have a whole new world in LA, enjoy and enjoy your life.
hugs

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Dan S.
08/24/2011 12:30am

Patti, that was quite a blog entry. I still watch "the Q" for entertainment, but "in between the lines" I'm starting to see some things there that really seem to be the polar opposite of the life priorities you've been talking about in these blogs and on Facebook. I'm convinced you left QVC because you "get" what life's about, & they just don't "get" it (if they ever really did). I do think it's ironic that you moved to a city infamous for its materialistic celebrities & corporate bigshots...maybe you can teach L.A. a thing or two about REAL life. See ya later. :)

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tricia
08/25/2011 10:15am

Glad to see you're back! I missed you!

Your words, as always, are so poignant. Patti, listen to your mom...Relax and enjoy life!
Life isn't a race to be won, but a journey to be enjoyed. Have fun girl!

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Donna Zimmerman
08/25/2011 12:25pm

Patti, I was happy to see you had a new blog. It was enjoyable to read, and I agree with your Mom and the others, as long as you can financially afford it, and are enjoying your life, take as much time as you need. You will find a job when you are ready for it. In the meantime, enjoy what you are doing to the fullest. As far as I can tell, there is only one new host since you left, and she isn't you, but she is fun and seems to fit in well with the others! We can't all love all the hosts, but if there's one we don't care for, there's always the "off" button on the remote. So glad you had to opportunity to enjoy Finn and your niece, and all your family for that matter. It's so much nicer to be able to enjoy life at this age than to have to wait til your 66 or older!



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Charlene
08/26/2011 6:58am

Hi Patty, I love reading your blog. You are a wonderful woman. You speak from your heart and this ole world could sure use more of that. It sounds like you are enjoying your life to the fullest. More of us should do that. God Bless. Charlene

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Alicia
08/26/2011 10:25pm

Aren't moms the bomb?

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Tammy
08/27/2011 12:14am

Patti I enjoyed reading you blog. I had missed you. I love that you share parts of your life with us and your inspirational words resonate with me. I needed your words tonight as I am at a place of what am I doing? I wish you luck and please keep in touch. I still miss you it has been like losing an old friend.

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Laura
08/27/2011 12:59pm

Hi Patti,

your writing skills are professional, have you considered working on a book?

I think you should, you have a talent right in front of you. I know a good story when I read one & you have it.

I have been writing since I am eleven & published two books for children.

Go for it! Its a good day for you to start writing again.

All the Best to you,
Laura

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Eva
08/29/2011 1:29pm

Hi Patti - I am so glad I stumbled on your personal webpage and blog. I am one of many that has followed you like a friend over your career with Q. I liked you from the beginning. You are a natural on camera and so sincere. Forgive me but I could relate to you because from the beginning you were honest about not being perfect, as I am, then you put your mind to it and physically metamorphized (sp?) in front of the world. Please stay in touch with your fans and when and if you need letters of recommendation, you know where to look.
Eva

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Lori
08/29/2011 8:53pm

My 13 1/2 year old dog 'Holly' looked in my eyes today and all I could feel was her grieving what she knows is eminent. I sat there and sobbed. How could I say goodbye to my best girlfriend in the whole wide world? How could I work up the strength to say goodbye? Through all of my tears I suddenly felt my heart swell with gratitude.

Sure, I didn't want this time to end. Certainly I did not want to ever know of the time when she was no longer with me.

And yet through the tears I thanked her. I thanked God. I thanked every kind of working part of this great big wide universe for having the wisdom of giving me a love that resides within me. A love that resides beside me. A love that stands uninterrupted no matter how much time passes.

I realized that she had now become a part of me just like I became a part of her. We were joined.

So I wiped the tears away. I realized that everything is as it should be. Today I made the choice not to count the chicks I don't have but to thank my lucky stars for those I do have. To cherish this unknown journey for its ebb and flow, to let go, hang on, and to accept.

Sometimes we forget about just letting ourselves BE. Sometimes we forget how to just ALLOW. Sometimes we think we need to run so hard and fast just to prove our worth.

Holly knows better and she taught me well.

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Donna
08/30/2011 5:29pm

I agree with the lady who said True life is about family and friends who love you for who and what you have, not the job you hold or the famous people you know. Take your time girl and smell the roses. When the time is right, go back to work doing something you love. In the meantime, instead of reading self help books, try your hand at writing one. You are a gifted writer if you don't already know it. Looking forward to your next blog. Remember live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and leave the rest to God....

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Ann
09/07/2011 6:01pm

Hi Patti - I really enjoyed reading your blog. You are so smart to take time off from work and learn more about yourself and what you want out of life. Too often people define themselves by what they do for a living. You sound like you are enjoying your time off, getting to know yourself, enjoying time with family and recognizing what's important in life. All the work, etc.. will still be there.

I do selfishly wish you'd come back on TV in some way. You were so good at what you did at QVC, always well prepared, knowledgable and you could tell you really cared about the customer.

Please keep writing and let us know what you're up to. Best of luck and congrats on your journey!!

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Dina
09/08/2011 10:56pm

Well I have to say I'm drawn to your website...for inspiration! I have watched you on the Q from your beginning and I was so inspired by your transformation..I wish I didn't struggle so much with my weight but I do...can you give us an update on how that's going..are you struggling with all the changes or does working out keep you focused..I would love to read mor inspiring thoughts on this issue..Thanks Patti:)

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Mary
09/14/2011 1:41am

Patti....please keep "blogging" and sharing your journey! I don't think you will ever realize how much "life" you give me just by your poignant words on a "blog". Thank you so much!

Mary

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Lydia
09/19/2011 7:17pm

You have a wonderful way with words. Please write more often.

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09/22/2011 4:42pm

I was wondering why my ratings went up on my website the other day. Now I know why.

What a great blog about being yourself. Something we often forget how to do. It's funny how when we grow up we're asked "what do we want to be when we grow up" and as an adult we can't believe our answers. Although their is some truth to our answers as a child. Finnegan probably wants to be a superhero but what he doesn't realize is, he already is one. He's your superhero!

I'm so glad that you're able to get back and forth to see him. It was the greatest gift to see you and Finn at Mom & Dad's. I only wish that we could have spent more time together since it had been so long since we last saw each other. It's been too long. I truly believe that all this free time that you have will be just what you needed to reconnect with a life that you once loved so much. Maybe it will even open the doors for something you never even imagined because someone will see the true light that you bring!

I love you so much and you know my home is always open. (at least until I sell it)

Jenni

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09/23/2011 1:53pm

Dear Patti,Have missed your REGULAR blogging! Are you considering coming back to the Q? I'm sure many would welcome you again. Take care & God Bless you & yours==Harmony & Joy, Rj

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09/26/2011 3:09pm

Hi Patti, I enjoy your blogs so much & look so forward to reading them. They are so uplifting to me. Thank you so much & please keep us informed of your future endeavors. I miss you on the Q but am enjoying you so much as a person & a friend now. Thsnks again. Linda O'Neill

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phyllis
10/04/2011 1:18pm

Patti,Mom still knows best .Those roses are just what you need .Stop and smell them. They will lift your spirits......
So glad to read another blog from you,my friend. I have really missed you and your words of wisdom....You really do have a great talent..You are enjoyed by more people than you will ever know...Write My Life and Pearls of Beauty of Patti Reilly!
You are truly loved.

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