Easter Sunday was priceless.  I spent it with my brother and his son, Finn.  He woke up at 6am to a room filled with colorful eggs and had no idea what to do with them.  He opened the first one and his face exploded with a HUGE smile, "Coca-late Pa-yee, it's coca-late!!! Mmmmm!!!"  as he gleefully shoved it in his mouth and ran to another egg, quickly catching on.  I'd forgotten about this kind of fun.  I watched Spongebob Squarepants all weekend long and sang him to sleep at night as we stared at the star-filled ceiling.  Like me, he has trouble sleeping with the slightest amount of light in the room, so when I notice him covering his eyes with his fluffy, orange puppy dogs ear I whisper, "Do you want me to shut off the stars?" and he nods his sleepy little head.  Thank you God for my little Finnegan:) 
On that note I have to say life is pretty good.  I've been very busy and am still not sure what awaits me in California, but I can't worry too much about it. What I've noticed over the past several weeks is that when duty no longer calls and the alarm clock bells aren't ringing, life looks and feels entirely different.  Instead of being in a "comfortably numb" state, my senses are heightened and I'm more aware of everything & everyone around me.  I'm not "clock watching" or tapping my foot, anxiously waiting to escape and immerse myself in a world of work- because that's what I thought defined me and also how I distracted myself from "real" life - instead I'm valuing each moment I have with people I love.  I figure this is some sort of life lesson to help guide me in my next venture.  In the eyes of people who love me I've come to realize that job titles mean nothing.  My neice, Teagan, would rather spend the day picking out patterned duct tape with me then listen to me fret and worry about what I'm going to do.  (she makes wallets out of duct tape! quite the entrepreneur:)  It's a good reminder to not take life or myself so seriously...      
Of course I have my mini panic attack moments about the move & all the other changes to come: are the dogs going to be okay on the plane?  dentist appointment Monday... I can't forget to cancel the phone & TV... call the title company... omgosh, I have to pay for health insurance!  am I doing the right thing?  These thoughts peck at me periodically throughout the day which is so annoying, but they motivate me to take action, move, and get myself going.  Any direction is better than no direction at all!!!  I believe that life is a self-fulfilling prophecy, that you get what you give, and that reality is a mirror image of your own thoughts about yourself.  My greatest immobilizer is fear of the unknown.  I'm sure that's true for alot of people.  It has leveled me a time or two, but it feels so good when you come out on the other side and can look back and wave.  Bye, bye!  And looking ahead you see a bright, shining California (insert favorite place here) horizon with "coca-late" smiles and duct tape memories and your life is forever changed. 

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.  And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.  And how else can it be?  The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." -Kahlil Bibran       
 


Comments

pam hagerty
04/30/2011 11:31pm

Hi Patti,

Just recently noticed, you were not on QVC any longer.

Miss you but.. your coming to California, my home state. I live inNorthern california, in Marin County, North of the GoldenGate Bridge.

L.A. not my favorite place, but because you have been in the industry and Im sure have many wonderful connections, hopefully you will find your
path and something FANTASTIC ! Wish you well,yes
the weather here is great. The dessert is gorgeous
and your not far from that.

So keep us updated,hopefully we will see you on T.V. again soon, doing something new.

Pam Hagerty

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05/01/2011 7:04am

Hi Patti...Did you ever think about writing? I really enjoy reading your blog. You have a comfortable way of writing that is so easy to read. Maybe you should write a book?? Best of luck to you on your new journey!

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Karen Landry
05/01/2011 4:30pm

Thanks for the new blog.. I just love reading them. I see a book in your future and your mentor Lisa can help you on the road for that. Maybe not now but later on down the road when you are settled in the wonderful life you will have. Oh I just smile when I read about you and Finn and the Duct tape. Ours are making bracelet and necklaces out of parachute cord... they are great. So what do you want to do with your birthday money? Buy Parachute cord. Just Love it... Take care and BIG HUGS for your journey out west.
K

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Linda
05/01/2011 5:41pm

Dear Sweet Patti,
Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts. I am so glad you had a good Easter with your brother and his kids. Good to hear you are taking life easy and stopping to smell the roses. All my best to you.

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Margaret Patton-Miller
05/01/2011 6:04pm

Your courage is inspiring. My your future be blessed.

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Missi
05/01/2011 8:01pm

Hi Patti:

I so enjoy your blogs and think you are a wonderful writer, very well spoken. I watched all the years you were on QVC and the Q is not the same without you and your smiling face. I know you will continue to go far in life and I wish you all the best on your move and new adventures in California. You are a real inspiration Patti and I appreciate you sharing parts of your life with us.

Missi R.

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Julie
05/01/2011 10:10pm

HI Patti,

I just wanted to tell you that your post inspired me today. I have been at a crossroads in my life this entire year. I have been very frustrated with certain parts of my life. Today, I just happened to look over here. I can totally relate to this. I wish you the best of luck!!! Hopefully, we can all inspire each other!!!

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Deborah
05/02/2011 4:11pm

Patti, I am so happy that you had the courage to walk away from a very public job to take a path that would make you happy. It is easier many times to just stay doing what you are doing. I admire your courage and I wish you the best! I loved you on QVC but I know the future holds better things for you! A fellow Rhode Islander, Deb :)

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Susan F.
05/02/2011 10:39pm

Sometimes when we set out to help ourselves....we end up helping others.

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Edwina Brennalt
05/03/2011 7:24am

Patti love your blog and so identify with your current feelings as I am moving May 11th. It's a local move from one part of town (Jupiter, FL) to another but the minutae details that must be remembered ans the countless decisions being made are endless! Will be glad when all is done. You and your babies are in God's hands and all will be well. Bon Voyage!!

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Connie Bartlett
05/03/2011 7:57am

Liked the reference by Kahlil Gibran...very inspirational. Read his book year ago when I was going through a rough patch in my life. Good luck Patti...be happy!

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Rhonda Thacker
05/04/2011 11:51am

Patti, I miss you so much on QVC. I wish you the best with your new adventures. How brave of you... at 53 yrs old I look back and wonder how my life might have been different if I were braver! Love and God Bless You,

~Rhonda

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Sonja
05/05/2011 12:43am

Patty so glad to have you blogging again! I read something to day about Accepting your dream! It takes alot of guts to step outside of the box! People aren't comfortable with those of who make changes but sometimes I think maybe they are a little envious! Good Luck on your journey please keep blogging!

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05/06/2011 3:37am

I was a social worker and I worked with abused children for over 20 years. I finally had to retire due to some health problems and just because of the toll the work had taken on me. Fortunately, my husband was very supportive of my decision to leave. It was scary to do this because we would have to depend only on one income, but we did it. That was about four years ago. I still have dreams and worries about some of the children from time to time, but, the days now look brighter and I am losing my cynical view of the world.
Fear of the unknown can be paralyzing to many people and make them stay in an unhealthy place. You are very courageous to leave your past job and move to California. I do miss you at QVC. You were a ray of bright sunshine on each show that you hosted. Best of luck in California and I wish you nothing but happiness.

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Daria
05/07/2011 2:53pm

Hi Patti!

You should write a book! You have a beautiful way with writing! I can so relate to how precious your nephew and niece are to you. I feel the very same about mine. SO glad you are enjoying your moments and are making new memories. Sending you big hugs and thanks for sharing yourself with us!

Good luck with your move!

Hugs, Daria

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Sherry
06/12/2011 5:11pm

Just finished my BSN and didn't have much time to watch QVC with family, study and work. Just tuned in today and saw you were not there. I will miss you and do admire the steps you are taking. You have been a great inspiration with losing and keeping your weight off. Plan o be where you are come this time next year. Best Wishes.
Sherry

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