The truth is, I've been holding out on this move for a while.  I've sat in the same salon chair, 2 hours prior to my shift, staring at myself in the mirror and asking myself the same questions: "What am I really supposed to be doing?  Do I want to be here 5 years from now?  Who in the heck am I???"  All the while having my makeup expertly applied, reviewing my product notes and gearing up to work with amazing people.  A dream job, for sure!!! And I soaked up every ounce of it.  Even on days when things have gone so horribly wrong you can't even fathom expressing yourself, you go on-air and smile when the light turns red.  That's when I started to feel the burn of doing something that just didn't feel right anymore.  We all have our stories and we all have painful realities, but it's when you can finally decide to not play the victim and do something about it, that you really begin to notice the shift.  I pray and meditate every night.  I read so many books on self-help, healing, manifesting change, the law of attraction, and the list goes on and on and on it's almost ridiculous.  I have searched for answers in this type of literature as well as from family, friends, and colleagues for years.  I have paralyzed myself with fear and self-doubt for so, so long that I finally hit a breaking point.  I thought about my family.  My niece & nephews in particular.  I thought about any and all conversations I will have with them over the years and never, ever in any phone call, email, text or facebook post would I ever deny them the deliciousness of their dreams.  The beauty of the "pie in the sky" dreams that they have and sometimes talk to you about with just a hint of embarrassment and a slight shrug of their shoulder.  What kind of Aunt would I be if I said, "That's great honey, but in all seriousness, what are you going to do with your life?"  Then I thought about me as their role model.  "There's my Auntie Patti, she's on TV!"  And yes, they think it's cool, and I love when my brother tells me that Finn saw a commercial with a blonde lady and he screamed "Pa-yeeee!!!!" while he pointed his chubby finger at the screen.  (My friends have kept tabs on me through the years via this medium.  They've definitely seen me more than I've seen them!)  So I think about my situation and how lucky I've been and trace back to over 11 years ago when becoming a host on QVC was just a dream.  That's when it dawns on me that it's been there all along.  In the writings of all those self-help and motivational books, in the person that I was and that I still am:  a believer that the world is an abundant place, that words and people have more power than they know, that every single one of us has the ability to change someone else's life for the better, and yes, that it's perfectly okay to have more than one dream, and (get this!) have more than one dream come true!   
I took Sydney for a walk today.  We saw our neighbor, Bella, a sweet 5 or 6 year old girl pedaling her pink & silver bike with the training wheels.  She had a smile as wide as the sky.  Her bike had a white wicker basket on the front and pink & white streamers shooting out of the handles.  My heart skipped a beat.  I had a bike just like that!!!  She waved at me and I said hello.  In the back of my mind I was wondering what she dreams of:)  Bella was just a baby when I moved into this house... where does the time go?  Seeing her brought up a memory from last summer.  I remember it so vividly.  There I was sitting peacefully in my sunroom on a beautiful June day enjoying the quiet when suddenly I was disrupted from my reverie by a scream.  Or wait, maybe a screaming chant???  It didn't make any sense, I needed to investigate, it almost sounded like someone was calling for help.  I put on my flip-flops and followed the sound to the end of my driveway and that's when I heard her, loud & clear:  "Water for sale!  Waaaa-ter for SALE!!!!"  It was Bella's older sister Sophie, perched at the end of her driveway two doors down with a makeshift water stand/sales booth.  A smile exploded across my face and I think I even laughed a little- it was just soooo precious!  I ran inside the house and grabbed a dollar (seriously hoping it was enough, lol!).  I walked towards Sophie, she hadn't noticed me yet, who was still screaming at the top of her lungs that she had WATER FOR SALE people!!!  Once she caught my eye she clamped her mouth shut and instantly became shy.  I saw her little mini dixie cups and asked her for a cup of water.  I mean afterall, it was a really hot day and I was thirsty!  She poured it carefully and when I asked her how much, she said boldly: "Twenty-five cents".  I told her I only had a dollar and to please keep the change.  She smiled and whipped her head around and screamed "Mom!  She gave me a DOLLAR!!!"  I saved that little cup & I share that memory because no matter where this digital age takes us, and no matter how far removed you feel from friends, family, or all of humanity, we are still supposed to honor the child within us and the children around us.  So moving forward, no more second-guessing, I will chase another dream, cheerlead my niece & nephews to be whatever they want to be and take time to buy a dixie cup of lukewarm water from an adorable child who was perhaps dreaming really big that day. 
 


Comments

Ann
03/12/2011 11:07am

To an amazing lady, I consider it a pleasure and honor to even know you!!! Not only are u a beautiful, sexy, classey lady, but u r very intelligent and brave. Your blog and facebook page has inspired me more times than i can remember. I will truly miss your beautiful face on air but will continue to follow u as long as u allow it. I just love hearing hearing what you have to say. There r a lot of people who truly love and admire u for who u r !!!! My heartfelt wish and prayer for u is good health,Financial stability , a husband and family. May God continue to shield u from all harm as u move on whatever the next chapter n the book of life is for :)

With much admiration
Ann
Myrtle Beach, SC

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virginia garmany
03/12/2011 11:16am

Patti,,finally found how to contact you,,tried cust service at qvc,,didn't know you were leaving until last night,,have enjoyed you so much,,would so like to follow your journey,,please reply how I can do that,,or find out where you are and what you are doing. I will keep this website as favorite. please respond with future plans if available. love you,mean it,virginia garmany

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Nancy Johnson
03/12/2011 11:19am

Patti,
You are such an inspiration. I watched your finale show and I actually cried. You have kept me company on so many a lonely night. I remember one night I think last summer, you were dancing to the music QVC played before going to a break. It was just what I needed, to see someone enjoying life. I am very much stuck in life and very much afraid, too. But anyway, this about you. You will be missed so very much. You are beautiful and courageous .... A true 'heart' that touches so many people.
Love to you always,
N

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Betty B
03/12/2011 11:30am

Patti --- I too cried many times last night while watching you do your last show. I wish you all that the world can give you! May you never look back and wonder " what if ". Please let us follow you on your blog and website.
God bless.
BB

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Liz
03/12/2011 11:33am

Patty,
You are such an inspiration for me. I saw you last night and you looked radiant, ready for a new beginning and adventure in your life. I applaud you for that. Many of us want to take that step and we are so scared. You are BRAVE. Have you ever considered writing your own "little book"?. I will buy it a flash and ZUMBA wii?. Wouldn't that be just amazing. You are great and don't let anybody tell you less.

Love,
Liz

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tricia
03/12/2011 12:01pm

Patti,

I will miss seeing your smiling face on V. So sad to know you are leaving QVC but happy you are chasing another dream. May this one be even better than the last. Please let us know what you are up to next! Here's to many more luke warm dixie cups filled with water!

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03/12/2011 12:04pm

Patti, I wish you only the best. I had my crying moments during your last show because I will miss you..... Through QVC, you have become my friend and we had many shopping trips through the years!! I know I look better from your wonderful advice. I truly hope to hear about your adventures in the future!! You go, girl!!!

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patti
03/12/2011 12:07pm

Tears of sadness and happiness for you and your dreams..soooo touching to see you and Lisa.
Live your dreams girl..I also feel what if this and that..I too feel there's something else I supposed to be doing..Your very inspiring with your gift of words and encouragement...
I have a goal to lose some good amount of weight for my daughters wedding..
I will do my best at this journey for me although it's tough..
So keep us all updated..
Your friend from the other side of the lens..
Patti O.

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Rose
03/12/2011 12:13pm

Patti,
I admire you for going from the comfort of something you know to going to the "unknown". I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide to do and found your blog message inspiring. Will miss seeing you on QVC and look forward to hearing what you will be doing - soon! Good luck in your new adventures!

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Trish
03/12/2011 12:23pm

Thank you for your constant dose of positive energy. As you follow your next adventure I hope you know that your courage will inspire others. Dreams come true only because we dare to live them!!!

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Angel
03/12/2011 12:26pm

Hi Patti,I too watched your last show on the Q last night. I laughed and cried with you. I totally agree with folowing your dreams. I am a forty something year old women that felt she had a job that just didn't feel right. I always wanted to help and care for people, I felt like it was in my blood. I went to school in my late thirties and at forty years of age became a nurse. I have never looked back, and each and everyday I feel as though I have been called from God above to do this wonderful job. So follow your dreams girl and never look back. I will miss your beauty inside and out, but I know in my heart you will always be there at the Q in spirit!!!!

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Debbie
03/12/2011 12:44pm

Patti, first of all, I have to say that you have true writing talent and should consider exploring and broadening this skill of self-expression.

Second, congratulations! You've just honored yourself, and it's clear that you are rising to the occasion of you life. We should all be as lucky to have such clarity and vision for ourselves.

To tell you a bit about myself, I am a QVC customer and have come to enjoy and love many of the hosts, including you. Out of sheer coincidence (I know... there are no coincidences, right?), I happened to tune into the Q during your segment last night and was shocked to learn that it was your last show. So I watched and shared the teary-eyed moments with you and the others until it was time for you to wave your last goodbye.

Then I Googled "Why is Patti Reilly leaving QVC?"

I didn't realize how hot a topic your departure has been for some time, and if I am being totally candid, I ached for you when I read some of the posts I came across.

With that being said, I wanted to stop by your new website and remind you, from one human being to another, that you are a child of God. You are a beam of light, love, and goodness, and your courage speaks volumes.

Dare to dream... Stand in confidence, knowing that you can and will create the life you know is possible. And, most importantly, hold your head high and always remember that you are meant to shine -- and not just shine, but shine brightly and beautifully.

Thank you for being my inspiration today, Patti. I wish you love, laughter, and magical sparkly moments abundantly cascaded throughout your life.

Smile.

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Martha Joslin
03/12/2011 12:45pm

Hi Patti! I had tears in my eyes last night as you said your goodbyes too all of us who love you. YOU are a beautiful person - inside and out! Continue to follow your dreams and trust in the Lord to direct you where He wants to lead! He has a PERFECT plan for you. (Jeremiah 29:11) I look forward to reading your blogs! You are a wonderful writer! May God's blessings continue to be abundant in your life.

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Karen Landry
03/12/2011 12:49pm

Patti,
Last night with you, Lisa and Jacque I saw a sisterhood between you all. Know your decision to leave was one you thought about and found clarity through your meditation and prayer.
You are a wonderful Aunt and the children are so lucky to have you in their lives.
I hope your future is full of sunshine and happy days. I am sure there will be some bad ones but with your amazing fortitude you will climb that mountain..
With many thanks for your years of smiles... Karen

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Susan McDonald
03/12/2011 1:26pm

Congratulations on your courage to move on, Patti. I tell young women to do something they WANT to do, and if you're dissatisfied with your job, do something else. I have always enjoyed you on QVC, Patti, and with your beauty, intelligence and smooth talking, I know there will be many choices for you. I hope we can see you again on TV. God bless you.

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Rachel
03/12/2011 1:39pm

Hi Patti!
I became a Qvc viewer in 2009, so I'm relatively new but you and a number of others hosts have become a part of my home and my daily life. You are one of my favorite hosts and I will miss seeing you on-air very much. You are always upbeat and a lot of fun and I hope whatever future plans you have will allow you to utilize that gift. I'll be following you on facebook and here on your website. Good luck dear :)

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03/12/2011 3:42pm

Patti,
I wish you much happiness in whatever you do. You have become a friend in my head. I enjoyed your smiling face, and all your make up knowledge. :0)
Keep on soaring.

Kelsey

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Eva Galindo
03/14/2011 7:56pm

Patti I too cried while watching your last show on Friday night. You were my favorite host on QVC and I will miss watching you. I wish you the best and hope you find what you are looking for.

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DeAnn Hewitt
03/15/2011 3:31am

Patti,
I am sorry to see you go from QVC,but I am so happy for you! You are a bright,
amazing, beautiful star and anyone that
meets you is truly blessed.
Good luck on your new journey in whatever you do.You ROCK GIRL!!Take Care!

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Kathie
03/15/2011 10:25am

Patti, wow your writing inspires me. I am an older woman and when you mentioned the children it took me back to when I was young and riding my bike. You should really write a book. You are so descriptive and that dear Patti is a gift no everyone has....I will be following your blog.

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betsy
03/15/2011 10:31am

Patti, I am so sorry you are leaving QVC. You are the Best with explaining beauty items.. QVC will be sorry that they are losing such a valuable employee. I hope we will see you on TV soon! Best of luck to you!

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SUE
03/15/2011 10:21pm

Hi Patti, I too watched your last show, and have read your blog. You made me cry. I see that you really do appreciate your family. Stay close to all of them, no matter how far away they are. I lost my Mom in Dec. and can tell you, that this has been the hardest thing in my life, and I'm 50. Good luck to you in all you do. Are you moving to CA?
Love,
Sue

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Barbara D
03/16/2011 1:18am

Patti- I remember when you first started on the Q - late at night. I've watched you become one of my favorite hosts. I'll miss your smile and your friendly delivery. Best of luck in your new endeavor!!

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Kimberly
03/17/2011 8:20pm

Patti-
I like so many were sorry to see you leave QVC, (you were one of the best) but after reading your blog I understand why and I must say you are wrong.. you are just as brave as your niece was when she cut off her hair to donate it. You are leaving your safe place to chase dreams yet unknown. That is VERY brave. You were a host everyone wanted to have as a friend because you were so real. I'll miss seeing you but I am so glad I can read your blogs and come along with you on this journey. You will achieve all of your dreams- have faith. You are already well on your way. It was a pleasure getting to see you on QVC.

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mary
03/18/2011 5:59pm

Patti--- Wow, what inspiration you are to everyone as they read your blogs.. I watched your last show, and I could see something in you there- that kindness and gentleness and how much people remembered how you made them feel.. that is the most importnat and I hope to remember that lesson.. May God richly lead and bless you.. m

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Alex
03/18/2011 8:05pm

I am new to reading your blog and may I say wow! I am so inspired by your wonderful posts.

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mary
03/20/2011 8:39pm

Patti-- I just love reading your ideas and you are a natural communicator.. You will be so good out there motivating people, and I will be waiting to read all about it..
God has a special place for you... God Bless.. mary

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03/21/2011 2:17pm

Patti,I do hope QVC knows what they are losing.You have always been my favorite host.With your beautiful smile and your bubbly upbeat to life.You are truly an unusually beautiful woman,inside and out! I'm sure you will continue to bring smiles and sunshine no matter where you go.Just know that you will be missed by thousands on QVC.
God will guide you..Just keep smiling...Best wishes in your future.,<3Phyllis

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tammy morgan
03/21/2011 5:18pm

I miss you sweet Patty .. You made me smile a lot .. Love & Happy

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Sandy L.
03/21/2011 9:21pm

Patty,
May God hold your hand each step of the way and your motivation and courage are truly inspiring. May we all see
thru the light as you have and good luck on your future endeavors. Hope your pets stay in good health. Mine too is now a Sr. and many things are no longer possible. The love however is forever and a blessing with our pets.
journey and look

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03/22/2011 11:41pm

HI Patti,
I have been watching QVC since 1990. You have been the only host on that show that felt "real". Down to earth something special about you. The Q will not be the same without you. I hope you that special something that your missing in your life. I wish you all the best and will continue to follow you on your journey. You inspire me to do great things.

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Margaret Whitacre
08/20/2011 9:23am

Your writing is inspiring and gives me a lot to think about. However, being human and having gone through hard times, I do worry about your future and and a job that you will embrace and love. God Bless and keep looking at the positive things in life that you are given.

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